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Being the favourite child (or wanting to be) influences our disposition to be...
I’ve been exploring recurring themes that exist between childhood experiences and feeling almost at home, not only in an unavailable relationship but particularly in an affair, and reading through the...
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You can change your version of normal at any time
When you’ve witnessed or been through a lot of stuff as a child, a chunk of adulthood is spent trying to work out what’s normal because it quickly becomes apparent that what was ‘normal’ to you isn’t...
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Being passive and a pleaser can make you a sitting duck for unavailable...
Sound familiar? You’re agreeable and try not to be or do anything that would give your date an opinion on you. Unsure of who you are and what you want, you rely on others to direct you. You’re also...
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Take the focus off them and bring it back to you
Our relationships romantic and otherwise, give us a window into understanding who we are and where we need to step up for ourselves. When we find that we’re experiencing the lather, rinse, repeat of...
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A ‘connection’ or having ‘so much in common’ isn’t the same as intimacy
“We have an amazing connection”, said so many people who are struggling to understand why they’re not experiencing deep, committed, loving, progressing, balanced, consistent relationships with the...
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Is it my issues or am I in the wrong relationship?
It can be incredibly frustrating to desire healthier relationships and to have done some self work, only to get into a relationship and experience a near assault of confusing emotions that leave us...
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We Have To Allow Our Friendships To Evolve
One of the challenges that friendship can sometimes pose is this desire, whether its on our part or on the part of our friend(s), that nothing changes or that the friendship is maintained in orderly...
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I’m still standing. You’re still standing. We’re still standing.
There’s this falsehood that many people who are in the process of improving their self-esteem, addressing unhealthy or redundant habits, or who are thinking about doing any of these things, subscribe...
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Dismissing those childhood experiences is akin to dismissing you
Many Baggage Reclaimers are dealing with people who have an attitude of, “Yeah, I beat you, cussed you down, ignored you, tormented you, abandoned you, abused your parent or siblings, breached your...
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Set The Standard
At what point do we say, “Enough”? It needs to be at the point where we’re feeling so desperate to keep someone in our life that we’re willing to let go of everything that needs to matter to us – our...
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Forget this hinting malarkey. I’m going all the way.
I turned thirty-eight last week and while there are many takeaways from what was actually an emotionally tough but very much necessary year—and I’ll be sharing these in another post—one thing that I...
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Forgiving Me For Abandonment
As a child, it’s hard to conceive why a parent isn’t around or doesn’t treat you with love, care, trust and respect so we determine that for a grownup to behave in this way, we must have done...
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Podcast Ep.8: Inappropriate Remarks To Singles, Do You ‘Get Over’ Abandonment...
It’s that time of the week again – there’s a new episode of my podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. I can’t believe it’s been eight weeks already! Here’s what I cover in episode 8: Those...
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Life’s Trials Reveal A Part of You That You Didn’t Know Existed (& Why I’m On...
In case you hadn’t guessed already, I’m taking a break. I’m currently on the Spanish island of Majorca on our annual holiday and will be taking some more time out on my return so that I can continue...
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This isn’t love: You’re in pattern, they’re in pattern
It’s so hard when I witness someone who keeps throwing themselves in the front line of pain by repeatedly returning to a toxic relationship or not leaving it. It’s not just because I’ve done it myself...
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Advice Wednesday: Should I Let My Ex Know About My BPD Diagnosis?
Reading Time: 6 minutesStephanie asks: One year after my ex broke up with me, I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. We had issues; I was clingy/jealous, he was avoidant/promised...
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Take the focus off them and bring it back to you
Our relationships romantic and otherwise, give us a window into understanding who we are and where we need to step up for ourselves. When we find that we’re experiencing the lather, rinse, repeat of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A ‘connection’ or having ‘so much in common’ isn’t the same as intimacy
“We have an amazing connection”, said so many people who are struggling to understand why they’re not experiencing deep, committed, loving, progressing, balanced, consistent relationships with the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Is it my issues or am I in the wrong relationship?
It can be incredibly frustrating to desire healthier relationships and to have done some self work, only to get into a relationship and experience a near assault of confusing emotions that leave us...
View ArticleClik here to view.
We Have To Allow Our Friendships To Evolve
One of the challenges that friendship can sometimes pose is this desire, whether its on our part or on the part of our friend(s), that nothing changes or that the friendship is maintained in orderly...
View Article