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Break Emotional Unavailability, Embrace Loving Relationships, Grow Self-Esteem

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    I’ve been exploring recurring themes that exist between childhood experiences and feeling almost at home, not only in an unavailable relationship but particularly in an affair, and reading through the many stories I’ve been sent, the same dynamic kept popping up: If as a child, we were favoured by one particular parent and treated better […]

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    When you’ve witnessed or been through a lot of stuff as a child, a chunk of adulthood is spent trying to work out what’s normal because it quickly becomes apparent that what was ‘normal’ to you isn’t how things are in general or what you want to continue with, especially as you’ll be feeling the […]

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    Sound familiar? You’re agreeable and try not to be or do anything that would give your date an opinion on you. Unsure of who you are and what you want, you rely on others to direct you. You’re also afraid of who you truly are being wrong and so you align yourself with ‘authorities’ (people […]

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    Our relationships romantic and otherwise, give us a window into understanding who we are and where we need to step up for ourselves. When we find that we’re experiencing the lather, rinse, repeat of the same type of person in a different package and the Groundhog Day of yet another situation that leaves us feeling […]

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    “We have an amazing connection”, said so many people who are struggling to understand why they’re not experiencing deep, committed, loving, progressing, balanced, consistent relationships with the very people that they’re referring to. “But, we have so much in common!”, said many a confused person who doesn’t share the common ground of the same perception […]

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    It can be incredibly frustrating to desire healthier relationships and to have done some self work, only to get into a relationship and experience a near assault of confusing emotions that leave us struggling to distinguish between our own issues and the existence of concerns. We can become almost paralysed by the task of needing […]

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      One of the challenges that friendship can sometimes pose is this desire, whether its on our part or on the part of our friend(s), that nothing changes or that the friendship is maintained in orderly fashion. There are often roles within friendships, particularly imbalanced ones where one party may be more of a Florence […]

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    There’s this falsehood that many people who are in the process of improving their self-esteem, addressing unhealthy or redundant habits, or who are thinking about doing any of these things, subscribe to, and it’s this idea that once we tackle whatever it is that we think has held us back and even “grow up” as […]

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    Many Baggage Reclaimers are dealing with people who have an attitude of, “Yeah, I beat you, cussed you down, ignored you, tormented you, abandoned you, abused your parent or siblings, breached your boundaries and all sorts of malarkey, but we’re family. Blood is thicker than water. Why aren’t you carrying on as if we’re best […]

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  • 06/08/15--13:01: Set The Standard
  • At what point do we say, “Enough”? It needs to be at the point where we’re feeling so desperate to keep someone in our life that we’re willing to let go of everything that needs to matter to us – our sense of self, our values, and most certainly, our boundaries and standards. It pains […]

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    I turned thirty-eight last week and while there are many takeaways from what was actually an emotionally tough but very much necessary year—and I’ll be sharing these in another post—one thing that I won’t be doing is stopping short of expressing what I truly feel or think on the basis of “not hurting people’s feelings”. […]

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  • 09/21/15--13:30: Forgiving Me For Abandonment
  • As a child, it’s hard to conceive why a parent isn’t around or doesn’t treat you with love, care, trust and respect so we determine that for a grownup to behave in this way, we must have done something “really really bad” or just flat-out been “unlovable”. Once we stop using the same childhood reasoning […]

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    It’s that time of the week again – there’s a new episode of my podcast, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions. I can’t believe it’s been eight weeks already! Here’s what I cover in episode 8: Those inappropriate and insensitive remarks to singles: When I was single, I felt like one of those bad date clowns because […]

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    In case you hadn’t guessed already, I’m taking a break. I’m currently on the Spanish island of Majorca on our annual holiday and will be taking some more time out on my return so that I can continue to reboot but to also catch up on some behind-the-scenes stuff. Eleven years ago, I didn’t know, […]

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    It’s so hard when I witness someone who keeps throwing themselves in the front line of pain by repeatedly returning to a toxic relationship or not leaving it. It’s not just because I’ve done it myself and it felt like a gradual exorcism of the past I’d veered between burying and blaming me for; it’s […]

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    Reading Time: 6 minutesStephanie asks: One year after my ex broke up with me, I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. We had issues; I was clingy/jealous, he was avoidant/promised more than he could keep. I offered to seek treatment, spend time apart and try again, but he said he needed a “clean break” and since then […]

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    Our relationships romantic and otherwise, give us a window into understanding who we are and where we need to step up for ourselves. When we find that we’re experiencing the lather, rinse, repeat of the same type of person in a different package and the Groundhog Day of yet another situation that leaves us feeling

    The post Take the focus off them and bring it back to you appeared first on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


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    “We have an amazing connection”, said so many people who are struggling to understand why they’re not experiencing deep, committed, loving, progressing, balanced, consistent relationships with the very people that they’re referring to. “But, we have so much in common!”, said many a confused person who doesn’t share the common ground of the same perception

    The post A ‘connection’ or having ‘so much in common’ isn’t the same as intimacy appeared first on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


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    It can be incredibly frustrating to desire healthier relationships and to have done some self work, only to get into a relationship and experience a near assault of confusing emotions that leave us struggling to distinguish between our own issues and the existence of concerns. We can become almost paralysed by the task of needing

    The post Is it my issues or am I in the wrong relationship? appeared first on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


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      One of the challenges that friendship can sometimes pose is this desire, whether its on our part or on the part of our friend(s), that nothing changes or that the friendship is maintained in orderly fashion. There are often roles within friendships, particularly imbalanced ones where one party may be more of a Florence

    The post We Have To Allow Our Friendships To Evolve appeared first on Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue.


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